The earth was flat and dry, a mixture of brown and beige sand. The hot yellow sun was beaming down on the sand, making whoevers feet that were placed on it blister. The first man to arrive felt the wrath of the blazing sun.Ogun decided it was time for people to witness his glorious works of art. The buildings constructed were of different shapes and sizes, some spherical and some triangular. Each with a different but unique color of steel. In the preparation for the people coming to see it, he began to construct a multifaceted bridge. The bridge extended from the hot sand, past the vast mountains and into the open blue sky.
After a decade of constructing buildings that shone every time the sun’s glare hit it, Ogun was tired but mesmerized by the beauty of it all. As the people around the world came to witness such beauty, they were surprised to see such intricate designs.
As the people started pouring in, all that could be heard were whispers. In between those whispers were judgment and displeasure. Jealousy filled the air like a murky river flowing into the ocean. One man said “how could only one man build this?”. Another said “he is using witchcraft to deceive us.” Ogun could not believe what he was hearing. The anger within him rising like a pot of soup on the stove.
That’s when everything changed. The horrifying screams could be heard from miles and miles on end. The humongous and ferocious silver blade was slashing swiftly through the dry air, being tainted crimson red as it moved across the sea of people. Piercing through the people far and wide. When all was done there was nothing left but a sea of dead bodies and Ogun felt nothing but shame and despair for not controlling his anger and impulses. As more and more villagers were coming Ogun decided to put an end to everything.
The new villagers to arrive were horrified to witness the scene before them. Ogun told the newcomers that he was sorry and he asked for forgiveness, in which some granted him forgiveness and others couldn’t. Ogun then tells the people that if they ever need him he will always be ready to help. Curses could be heard for miles on end. Ogun could not think of any other way atone for his sins.
But there was only one thing to do. He made a decision to kill himself in order to keep the peace of the people. He did indeed kill himself but the people were never the same again.
According to my Aunt who told me the story, Ogun was later called upon by anyone who needed help with iron/metal. But in turn they would use the iron/metal to kill. In a way the people were doing exactly what he did. What they “learned” from him.
Reflection
Throughout the duration of writing this narrative I struggled with being able to condense such a large story into a short narrative but, with the help of Professor Stoler’s outline I was able to make something out of nothing. Another weakness of mine pertaining to writing this narrative was the second lens due to the fact that I have never written one before and I wasn’t sure how to. One last weakness that I had was sentence structure. I often had to fix sentence fragments and run off sentences
One of my strengths writing this paper was the many describing sentences, I felt confident in my ability to write details in a way others can visualize them. Another one of my strengths is my ability to add a plot twist in the story. Overall this was a really interesting piece to write and I look forward to improving my writing skills.
